Burn
by surrealist-notions
Summary: Why Haymitch didn't attend the opening ceremonies. One Shot.
1. Burn

**I've been making a habit of reading too many head canons and thinking about how I could turn them into a story. **

**This one had the biggest effect on me. It really gave me a whole new take on Haymitch. I hope you enjoy it, and if you have time, review! I would love feedback.**

Portia and Cinna had told Effie and me that this year's tributes we're going to be on fire. I didn't know he meant literally. Neither did Effie. Effie was overwhelmed at the sight of their costumes, there headdresses in flames and clothes bright and fiery. It was the perfect debut for district twelve to finally make an impact on the people of the capitol.

Except it brought back to many memories.

Fire. Burning. Screaming.

I'd won the 50th hunger games by chance, I guess. I knew there was a force field but I never knew it was going to be my advantage. The capitol thought I had though. They saw it as an act of defiance, as if I wasn't going to play the games their way. Which, admittedly, I didn't want to. Heck, no one wanted to. Except maybe the volunteers, but not the rest of us. We had families, friends, and even if we were hungry from starvation we had a life that we would've liked to continue living.

So when I'd won the games, even though I knew 47 other people had to die so I could live, I had a small feeling in my stomach that was happy. I had won the games. I was never going to be hungry again and neither was my family.

I remember my interview and how I was trying to rush through it so I could get home as quick as I could. I remember Ceaser noticing this and giving a laugh along with the audience and a quick 'Let's let this boy go home!'.

Except I wasn't going home after that like they told me.

As I walked off stage, I saw my stylist and my mentor were nowhere in sight. And that's when four peacekeepers came at all sides. I told them to get away from me but they wouldn't listen, they just get pushing me forward as I screamed at them to let me go.

They finally pushed me into a room. They sat me down in a chair at a desk where someone was clearly sitting with the desk turned away.

"You may leave now." The voice of the worst person I had ever known said, and the peacekeepers left.

I knew it was President Snow, even before he spoke. Maybe I had known all along this was coming but was overcome with the thought of getting back to my family that I hadn't thought much about it.

"Haymitch Abernathy. I'll admit, I didn't think you were going to be this year's victor." His voice was like ice. The smell of his rose was so strong that it was nearly overpowering me. And there was a faint smell of blood. Always.

I remember not being scared, even as the president told me that I was in deep trouble; that in fact, I, in using the force field as a weapon, had made a fool out of the capitol. I just remember one clear thing that day that I'll never forget.  
>"You won't pay, Mr Abernathy. But others, they will."<p>

I left that room with a whole new take on life. Others were going to pay for my wrongdoing. I didn't know what that meant. Was district twelve going to be in starvation for the next month? Were the next years games going to be rigged so my brother would be a tribute?

The sleepless night on the train was the worst as I ran through all the possibilities that could be meant by "but others, they will."

I remember jumping off the train and ignoring the camera's and just running, just running.

That's when I noticed the smoke.

The house that was assigned to my father, mother, myself and my little brother was going up in flames, with about 50 peacekeepers standing around it.

The screams coming from inside were unmistakable.

I remember fighting the peacekeepers with everything I had. I remember a friend of mine, Mr Hawthorne, trying to fight with me. But I couldn't do anything.

The house was burnt down with my whole family inside.

But that was only the beginning. I watched as they hung my girlfriend for 'treason' but no one knew what'd she'd done to deserve that. My friends slowly disappeared, some I saw being killed, others i didn't know. The people started realizing what was going on, how it was all directly linked to me. They started keeping away from me, more so than ever. I lived in my victor's house on my own and bought my first bottle of alcohol to see what all the fuss in the capitol was about. The first mouthful burnt my throat as it went down, it stung. I remember telling myself that this was my punishment for letting them burn my family.

And that's why, when I saw them testing the headdresses with fire, I ran. I ran to my room, locked myself in the bathroom with a bottle of whiskey. And I cried.

I never cried, ever. But tonight was the exception.

I didn't answer when Effie told me I could go down and watch the tribute parade.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't face Snow while the kids were wearing fire. I couldn't see these kids' faces when I knew they weren't going to last the month. I knew I should because I had for so long now, but these kids were different. They all were.

I had drunk myself away every day for the past twenty five years so i wouldn't have to feel like this. I stared at the unopened bottle of whiskey, thinking that if i just drank it all now the feelings would go away and i could go back to feeling to numb to feel anything.

No. I'd told these kids i would help them, and that's what i was going to do. And i needed to be sober for it. Even if that meant i was going to bring up a whole lot of feelings that were probably going to tear me apart, i couldn't do it. I couldn't let these kids down like i had all the other years.

These kids were coming home this year. And they were going to help me take down that evil, evil man for everything he was worth.


	2. AUTHORS NOTE

**Just a little not to say i fixed the story up a little.  
>Thank you for the reviews that helped me realize my mistakes and where i had went wrong, i really appreciate it.<strong>

**Enjoy! **


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